12 days of Christmas(Gift Exchange)

Know your limits…….. There is a thought that you need to stick it out through the tough times. There will always be tough times and I totally believe that you should fight through them, but for how long? 

Obviously every situation is different, but some are just situations everyone goes through in life, and others should be carefully looked at. A few of those situations would be relationships, jobs, and living situations.

Know what you are willing to live with, and know that you can walk away when those limits are reached. You don’t have to suffer through things to be complete or happy person, eventually. 

If you’re stuck in a bad place, a change needs to be made. The length of time that change needs to be figured out is the amount of time you should allow. If you cannot figure out what change needs to be made, you need to change the entire situation. 

Don’t get caught up in the ideas or social images you think you should share. What makes you happy should not be confused with what society pushes on you. 

If you’re everyday life is a constant thought that you need change, or you’re depressed, find help in escaping that depression. Don’t let the feeling of being stuck become your reality. People are willing to help, and if you’re in a relationship with someone who is not, you know what change needs to be made. 

Don’t confuse being well, with well-being. Love yourself enough to be happy

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Perception….. With the gift giving days upon us, understand perception as it appears to the gift givers. It is easy to be the recipient of a gift and think that someone does not care about you based on the gift they gave, but they did give a gift, and unless that gift is feces, or something just as awful, it was something that they took some time in doing. 

I used to be bad at this, and maybe I still am a little. When I would get a gift, I would be grateful, but my body language did give the reaction that would be expected. One of my boys does the same thing. 

When someone takes the time to give you something you need, or just something that you wanted, show them the gift is appreciated. A weak, “thank you” doesn’t really suffice. The thank you is very appropriate but with no visible emotion behind it, it’s lack luster and seems forced. Maybe that’s just who you are. 

The result of these reactions, or lack there of, causes an unsettling in the giver. It doesn’t appear they gave a good gift so they question the status of your relationship, or just feel inadequate. This also leads to less quality gifts in the future, if any. 

Realize that your reaction will create what people take away from the experience, in all cases. For many people, especially parents, this time of year is when they get to see smiles on your face and joy, just from a gift. Hopefully it doesn’t take a gift to create that but that’s a different problem for a different day. If they go through trouble of getting something good, show them how good it was, with love and appreciation that you aren’t used to giving. 

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The holistic approach……..If you think you can focus on one aspect of your life without effecting the others, you’re wrong. 

If you want to make physical changes, figure out what’s holding you back mentally or emotionally. Spiritually falls into both of those realms depending on how spiritual you feel you are. Having a purpose falls into the spiritual aspect of your life, whether you believe in a diety or not. 

What in your relationship is stopping you from your health wants/needs? For that matter, what about your health is getting in the way of what you want emotionally? 

Don’t think that you can attack one area that you are failing, or fallong behind, and feel like everything falls into place. 

There must be a constant asseessment of all areas. None of us are perfect. That beimg said, one lesson it takes years to learn -if you’re even paying attention- is how to monitor your emotions when it comes to you. 

We are given so many rules and restrictions, and nobody teaches us how regulating ourselves in these ways actually helps us with all of life’s struggles and tasks. 

If you can’t do it each day, take one day each week to look at yourself closely and grade these areas of your life from your perspective. Then try to see someone else’s perspective. Maybe it was your parents, a friend, or significant other’s complaint about something you do. 

We are here to learn and grow. We are here to be a combined group of beings that progress. Where do you fit in?

Grow your wellth

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Appreciate the little things….. So he didn’t buy you that expensive piece of jewelry you wanted, did he get you something you’ve needed or been talking about for awhile?….. So she completely forgot about that huge favor you asked her for, did she put food out together for your day tomorrow?

We concentrate on the things people don’t do for us because we only see the negative around us. We are conditioned to look for the bad, ignoring good that is done on a regular basis. This is one reasons our relationships start to fall apart, and we don’t even realize it. 

Start looking for the things being done that you haven’t realized you haven’t had to do. When was the last time you cleaned your own dish? When was the last time you had to get gas? That meal you’ve eaten the last few nights, where did it come from? Those kids that made it home safely today, or woke up and got to school on time, who made those happen. 

Just because tasks become everyday things doesn’t mean the people completing them become slaves to those tasks and should not be noticed for doing them. They have other things that need to be done too and still manage to accomplish them. Where is their kudos?

We all have people in our lives that accomplish things we don’t wish to do, or don’t have time for. It still creates stress within those people to do those tasks for others and get their own tasks done.

Next time you want to complain about something not getting done, think about what they did that day, or during that period. Next time you want to complain, think about all the small tasks you do that you are not given credit for. 

Its not that you should be given credit for every thing you do, its that you should recognize what others are doing for you that you have not acknowledged. When is the last time you prepared coffee or breakfast for your significant other? When is the last time you rubbed their shoulders, where a large majority of stress is held, creating chronic issues? 

There’s no doubt others could do a little more, but so can you. Appreciate the small things and do a few more yourself. 

Building wellth within you

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RESOLUTIONS….. If you are thinking really hard about what New Year’s resolution you are going to make this year, you’re doing it half right. 

Making a resolution to change something in your life is an amazing thing, if you’re doing it for the right reason. If you’re waiting until New Years to commence with the resolving, you’re already tirning your back on the importance of the act. 

If there is something important enough to change, do it immediately. Putting it off until a certain day is already putting a seed in the mind that it can be put off, and thus, not important enough to stick with. You’re setting yourself up for failure. If you want to change your body for a trip in the summer, you don’t wait until just before the summer to start on it. You won’t reach your goal and you won’t continue with the task itself when you see that it failed. 

Whatever it is, start it immediately. You may need a little time to really collect some momentum with it but if you start it immediately then you set the mark at importance and work into succeeding through time. If you wait, then go fully into resolve mode without clearling small obstacles, frustration will hit the finishline well before your goal.

If fitness, or just health, is your goal, make small changes. Work into the changes that normally kill the motivation, gaining strength to adapt and overcome. 

  • Don’t join a gym right away
  • Start a log of your day to see what you can cut out immediately that won’t be too bad
  • Tell people what you’re doing so that they don’t feel tempted to get you off track
  • Start with small exercises to get through daily and build up your schedule over short periods of time to get your body used to the labor and soreness in most cases. 
  • Don’t run out and get pills and supplements. You’re not ready. 
  • Be excited about what you’re doing each day. You will have minimal progress at first and any progress is good. It all adds up. 
  • Do not use a scale. If you want to compare your body over time, use a mirror and take photos that are a week between progress checks.
  • The cell memory in your body is older than any relative you have. Your body will make changes based on what you do, and its mostly nutrition. 
  • After 10 days, your body will adapt to your attempt to change what it is used to. Change your routine

If you see a need for change, make it immediately and work the kinks out along the way. It will take some time so use the time to figure out small failures, rather than jump into it after wasting time, just to ultimately fail because chanes aren’t coming soon enough. 

Your body is its own machine. It decides when it needs something and makes changes to get it. You need to know your body and pay attention to what feel good and what feels bad. 

Live wellthy

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Never be afraid to give a little. Many times in life, we have balance. You may not notice it when you think about your overall health, or finances, or even work environment, but its true. 

If you don’t believe you’ve had anything go your way and you constantly sacrifice or give, take a deeper look into other aspects of your life for that balance. You may be financially brutallized on a consistent basis but have many people around you that create a comfortable and loving family environment that brings you joy and a constant smile when you think of them. That’s just an example of balance that we have in our lives. 

If you do not see much balance then 2 things could be behind that. The first is that you will be getting some serious turnaround, and very soon. The second reason could be that you’re not a very good person. Look, there’s truth in many unpleasant things, and this may be yours. If this isn’t the case, refer to the 1st theory. 

Sometimes its ok to give a little back where you often get ahead, otherwise those moments may just disappear for good. Life is about balance, in most cases. Find out which side of the beam you are on and be patient while you continue to be a good person. The key part of balance is the focus on being good to those around you and doing what is right far more than what is wrong. You do not have to be perfect, just be further ahead of the curve on the good end. 

Be good people. Give a little, take as little as possible. Retain a warm heart and bright smile. 

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Investing in what matters. I’m not here to tell you what your priorities should be. We all have different ideas of what is most important to us. Let me give you an idea of what is important to me and why. You can have your own thoughts on the issue, based on what you want in your life. 

I lost my father before the age of 8. My parents were divorced already, for all of the parts of my life that I can really remember. In fact, I don’t remember much of my life before he died that didn’t include traveling back and forth, and very few memories that I hold on to. I was young, so maybe not having too many memories is a normal thing, I wouldn’t know. 

My father was an inspiration to me. When you look at the history, and what happened, some people would see a different label that should be made, but that doesn’t matter to me. I’ve gone through plenty of those labels throughout my life as I think about where I am. 

My father could do it all. He made food from scratch and forced me to eat food I didn’t like because it was good for me. He made me do things that I didn’t want to do, like clean up dog poop. It made me gag every single time and sometimes I would even throwup, then having to clean that up as well. He didn’t want me to think I was above any minescule job that needed to be done by someone. He built things around the house because there was no greater accomplishment than building what you need instead of counting on others, and he would allow me to help him. He worked on his cars and showed his kids how to do the basics, incase they needed something done in an emergency, like my sisters changing flat tires. 

He wanted me to taste life. He wanted me to be able to survive on my own and not need others to do what should come natural to us. He threw me in the water to teach me how to swim because there is no better way to learn than to have your natural intincts do the work for you. 

Of anything that I’ve ever learned in life, in the short time I had with him, he showed me how to be independent, and how that knowledge needs to be shared so that we can all evolve together and get more done. He also taught me lessons I have never forgotten that would normally be negative, and I still hold on to those and use them on nearly a daily basis. 

In many, sometimes mistaken ways, I have followed in his footsteps. Maybe some of those ways he followed in his father’s footsteps. We are only human and sometimes we have to learn our lessons in the same ways our predecessors have, even if our predecessors shared their experiences. I’m not proud of many mistakes I’ve made, but I am proud of who I am, and I would not be this person if I did not make those mistakes. I also cannot take those mistakes back, and probably wouldn’t if I knew I would lose any of what I have. 

To me, investing in people is the most important thing we can do. Money, life and material things can be taken from us at any time, and sometimes in very violent ways. Why make these things important when they can just be ripped from our lives? Because of my young life, I chose to make family important, even more specifically, children. I didn’t want to allow my children tohave the same life I did. I wanted to be there for much more time than I had with my father. Yes, losing my father created a need inside of me, but it was a good thing I had a great mother to balance who I am today, otherwise I would be an absolute wreck, seriously. 

While you see others speeding around with deadlines and doing everything they can to be busy, taking time away from the people they will need around when their body and minds burn out, think about who you are letting down or creating a timelapse for. Think about where you would rather be, and woth whom, and decide to make your life happy, not hurried.

When you are happy all of the opportunities in the world will come your way. Live for that. 

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Belief is the first step to success. Whether you are pursuing a career or just finishing a goal you have, believing in yourself and what you are doing is the main key to succeeding.

Anyone who is paying attention can see the truth in the work that is being done. If you are selling yourself for a job and just spouting off things that you think will impress the interviewer, you will be disappointed. If you lose hope in what you are trying to sell, the buyer will see your lack of confidence.

You’re smart, dedicated and hard working by nature. We start to fall behind when we believe that we are less than others for reasons that should not normally matter. We get so caught up in just succeeding in our endeavors that we forget why we are in the positions we are. We forget who we are and that new persona becomes what others see, and may eventually be what deters our success.

We are hard enough on ourselves without creating more stress by creating doubt in others. Dig in. You are who you are. If you see change that needs to be made within yourself, by all means, grow. If you change, thinking that it will help you be more successful, you will eventually build up a resentment within yourself.

Believe in your dreams and your ability to achieve them without changing who you are to convince others of what needs to be done. You will find someone that sees the accomplishment in you and will be willing to take the chances needed to see the task through.

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Just because you can, doesdn’t mean you should. There are a few things that really get my blood boiling, and I always feel like I have to set a few things straight. Some people have thoughts that are, well, just ridiculous, but there’s nothing we can do about it. 

Social media is a prime example of creating hate and speaking out of your a** on nearly every issue there is. And people, mostly “news” organizations use these mediums to do just that, and bring in money by doing so. That’s the world we live, as Denzel Washington recently stated to an entertainment channel, “it doesn’t matter if its true or hurts somebody, as long as you’re first to get it out there”, and he was right. 

A northern California news channel made a report after the Asiana Airlines crash that reported the pilots’ names from the crash. No organization had released the names of the pilots yet, and as it goes, neither did they. The news station quickly said the 4 names of the pilots, in an inappropriate manner and obviously, completely wrong. I’ll say one name and you can look up the rest because I don’t believe in perpetuating an awful -yet hilarious- act. I’m not sure it was the first name, but Sum Ting Wong was one of 4 names clearly not vetted before release. You get my point. 

I would normally fire back at posts that were just ridiculous, but I finally learned, and not just on social media, to keep it to myself. 

I have realized, since I stopped firing back, that I am much more proud of myself for not trying to set ignorant people straight. I haven’t evolved tojust  ignoring it altogether but I type it out and delete it. I’m actually very proud of myself. 

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Information overload and how it effects us. You’re missing something. It’s okay, we all are. We are meant to be, for the most part. If we weren’t forced to miss something, we wouldn’t allow the media and all information distributors to have this much control of us.

I’m not speaking on a conspiracy theory level, but a knowledge and progression level. We’re all missing something, and in many cases a lot of something. Let me give you an example of something I had been missing, and maybe by choice. 

It took me years to find out that I am defficient at learning, studying and remembering to be more exact. I’m actually really good at learning, on my own terms. Taking college classes between the ages of 35-40 is not easy, especially when you never spent actual time in a college learning environment, and you didn’t do mich studying in high school, 20 years prior. Now that it matters and you’re doing something for a good reason, you want to do it well. 

I have been blinded by what works for me because I thought too much about what other people did, or I just thought I would remember, but there is way too mich information and I found that the things I remember aren’t the things being tested at the end of a module. Frustrating. I also found that I read things and interpret them how I want, usually in a way that suits us, and our goals best. Like doing the least amount of work, for instance. 

Through reading, studying and testing, especially open-book, I finally figured out what works best for me, but it took a lot of thought. I came to the answers i needed by focusing on how to absorb the information best, while I was reading it, not well after, because, well, we really never go back like we say we will. We lead ourselves to failure because we get caught up in things that are shoveled to us in mass quantities as promotion. Things that really only hurt us. 

When we take the focus away from our own progression, we fall into a state of regression, and right into the hands of the people who get paid to spread misinformation in bundles, hoping something touches the right nerve, taking us off course.

Think about it. What have you been wanting, or possible needing to do that you have not been able to accomplish? Now think about what you have spent that time on. 

Sometimes, for me, it’s this. Keeping up with models of advertisement and social media to get a target audience that needs help in life, in one way or another, takes quite a bit of time, but its time well spent because if I get to one person while I’m doing it, it makes up for the short time I could’ve been researching or program planning. The point is to help the people, so as hard as it is for me to take time away, I know I need to, but, as I’ve learned, I need to do it on a designed schedule, and get it all done together so that it doesn’t last all day, which it can. 

Stay away from sources that take you away feom your goals. Stay away from topics that drive you away from your planned course. Stay away from people who are really there to be an obstacle, playing no active role in your evolution.

When you start to do something, think about why you’re doing it and take a few minutes to think about how you’re doing it and if you could be further along if you changed an aspect of it. Progress……